Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Happy 4 Months, Caleb!


Dear Caleb,

You're now four months old! Spring time is finally here and with it, so is the warm weather, beautiful blossoming flowers, and all things green. This month has been one of trial and extra stress since mom had to return to work. That first week back was the toughest--a lot of tears where shed on everyone's part. Mom cried the most especially when she had to leave in the mornings, but what kept her going was the fact that at the end of each day she got to see you!

Thankfully, others have been there to take care of you such as Dad on his days off, and when he has to work, Papa, Uncle Nathan, Oma, or GramMarty have been able to help as well. While the bulk of your days are now currently spent with the Chappelears, your GramMarty had the chance to come to town and spent an entire week with us! She and you enjoyed your days together and it helped ease the burden of gathering all of your stuff and lugging it off to Papa & Oma's. (Not that we're complaining about free babysitting by any means!!!!) Oma has been able to watch you about once a week and she loves her time with you as well. Between the two of them you're getting lots of spoiling by your grandmas and we know you're eating it up!

This month we officially found at that the red blotches on your knees, back, head, and elbows is eczema. At first we just thought it was cradle cap but as time passed it got worse and finally Dad took you to the doctor where it was confirmed that your skin is just super sensitive. It's been difficult pin pointing what the cause is and how to help you. We've changed laundry detergents, tried different bath time washes, lotions, creams, etc. The only thing that seems to help is hydrocortisone, but even the pediatrician recommends that only when absolutely necessary. She has advised Mom to watch what she eats to see if there may be certain foods that are causing you to outbreak more since you're still nursing. I'm sure we'll have more to update you on next month as we continue to battle manage it.

In other news, it's hard to believe that it was this month a year ago we found out we were pregnant with you! It was such a whirlwind of emotions we felt when we discovered we had a bun in the oven. You were our unexpected planned pregnancy :-) and we wouldn't change this journey for the world! So much has changed in just over a year, like the fact that you're now here!!! A year ago, you were about the size of a sweet pea. Now, you're growing in leaps and bounds and rolling over like a champ! You're growing right in front of our eyes and it's such a blessing to witness it.

You've also had a lot of firsts this month as well. You celebrated (via Skype) GramMarty's 51st birthday, met oodles of cousins, put your feet in the grass (and thoroughly enjoyed it), met and had dinner with your sweet Great Aunt Beatrice, wore your first cloth diaper--Charlie Banana, and met former U.S. Presidential candidate Virgil Goode at Subway with Ashley Warrick (though  you were too busy crying to care). Today you received your second set of shots and you handled it like a champ, pouting only a little while still pulling off a handsome toothless grin before we left the office. Mom is suuuper excited about next month since it means the end of school is approaching and summertime is right around the bend! You continue to amaze us! We're thankful for another month with you and look forward to next!

With love,
Mom & Dad



Sunday, April 7, 2013

Back to the 'Ol Grindstone

Can we have an honest conversation about my desires?! I want to be a stay at home wife/mother. I don't want to stay at home forever, just for the next few years while Adam and I are family planning and I can help bring up/rear my children rather than another adult do so. I completely understand that financially it is impossible for many women, including myself, to stay at home, but if I could I would do it in an instant. I now know why some women LOVE it and why they choose to lead that kind of lifestyle (granted that they and their husbands are in agreement first). But in the meantime, I don't get the luxury of staying at home. I do indeed have to return to work and let me just say that it sucks! 

And in the next breath let me also say, "I love my job!" I really do! I enjoy the fact that no two days are a like, that I never have a typical 9-5 day where I'm stuck behind a computer screen, and that I have weekends, summers, and holidays off. I am enthralled and engulfed with the belief that I can be a positive light to teenagers and that I can make a difference in their lives; but I am so afraid that going back to work will mean that I'm going to miss out on so much that my little boy is doing. I don't want others to witness all of Caleb's momentous and joyous accomplishments just because I have to work. It is ripping my heart in half realizing that tomorrow I'll have to kiss my son and walk out the door. I know God has a season and a plan for everything, my heart and mind just can't seem to grasp the concept that during this season I'm not meant to be a stay at home wife/mother.

Let me be honest, I'm as nervous as a first year teacher wondering how my kids at school are going to be. I'm also skeptical whether I'll be able to make through the day without crying puddles and I'm less than thrilled that I'll now have to pump rather than be at Caleb's disposal whenever he needs to eat.  The only thing that will get me through this is 1) my encouraging husband, 2) my faithful and willing-to-babysit-for-free family, and 3) that there's only seven weeks left until summer vacation! I know I can survive seven weeks, but I wish I didn't have to endure this at all. I know this time is precious and it's a gift, I hope I can continue to see it that way come tomorrow. Until then, please say a prayer for me and my family!

Sunday, March 31, 2013

Happy 3 Months, Caleb!


Dear Caleb,

It's amazing how fast time is flying by these days! You've had quite a busy month. While last month marked your big debut, this month saw a lot of action as far as you getting out and about. We're much more comfortable now with taking you out than we were a month ago, and as we're learning it's getting to be much easier--of course you're a pretty relaxed baby, so you make things easy on us. (Of course it also helps that you like getting out and meeting new people, too)!

You're becoming much stronger, and you can hold your head up--we still have to support your neck in order to make sure you don't let it "flop" when you get tired, which we learned the hard way. You've gained 1 pound 4.5 ounces since last month! You're still lean, but you've grown 3/4 an inch, which is CRAZY- seriously slow down, you'll be taller than us before we know it! You've started bearing weight down on your legs and can hold yourself up so long as someone is holding on to you. Holding your head up is no longer holding you back, and because you can do it so well, you love to look around. You still aren't mobile yet, but you can roll onto your side. Pretty soon you'll be rolling onto your stomach! You're also starting to speak up more, but in spurts and not consistently, though we're sure if you're anything like your momma then you will be soon enough!

You experienced your first Easter, though we weren't feeling very well that day so we actually didn't make it out to church. We're hoping we'll find a church soon that we can call "home" so we can have you around other babies and be able to have some social interaction. We still call Redeeming Grace Baptist Church our home, and we're not sure we can even find a church home quite like it, but we are hoping to dedicate you there in front of family and friends this summer. Ultimately, we want to raise you the way the Lord directs us to. We want to be there for you, reading and encouraging you every step of the way. It is a privilege that God has allowed us to be your parents. We love you!

Before we end this letter, there's one thing, I as your mother would like to say: I've truly enjoyed these past three months at home with you and I can't imagine going back to work. I've been so blessed to have had such a long maternity leave with you. It breaks my heart to know I won't be here with you like I want, but I know you'll be in good hands--you're dad, Papa, and Oma will be taking care of you throughout the week when I return to work, and even GramMarty is planning to stay a week or two to help us out. I'll have to work for seven weeks before summer vacation and then we'll get into all kinds of shenanigans then! I love you my wonderful boy! We can't wait to see what next month brings!

Love,
Mom & Dad



Thursday, March 21, 2013

MIL's Meat & Potato Pie

Step 1
Step 2
Despite being new to this whole mommy role, I've thoroughly enjoyed my role as a wife to Adam and hope to for many MANY years to come. In becoming a wife I certainly found myself reveling in the whole "domestication" process. Not that becoming a wife necessarily means that for all women, but it did for me. All of my creativity and energy became focused on pleasing Adam, but now this includes my son as well. I want to be the best wife and mother I can possibly be each day. At the moment, that's keeping the house clean, having a hot meal (or hot leftovers) on the table each night, and taking care of Caleb. As for tonight, I thought I'd share with you my mother-in-law's meat and potato pie recipe--more commonly known as Shepherd's Pie.
Step 2

Ingredients
  • 3 Tbsp olive oil
  • 3 cups frozen hashbrowns
  • 1 cup grated cheddar cheese (or any cheese you prefer)
  •  3/4 cup diced meat (chicken, hamburger--I prefer Jimmy Dean sage sausage: 1 lb cooked)
  • 1/4 cupped chopped onion (optional)
  • 1 cup milk
  • 2 eggs
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 1/8 tsp pepper
  • Parsley flakes (optional)
Step 3
Directions
          1.  Put oil in the bottom of a 9" pie plate and add frozen hashbrowns (I like to mix them up thoroughly) -- bake @ 425 for 15 minutes
          2. Mix cheddar cheese, meat and onion -- immediately layer on top of cooked hashbrowns
            (I prefer to mix the potatoes with the cheese and sausage rather than layer)
          3. Mix milk, eggs, salt, and pepper then pour on top of dish
          4. Bake @ 425 for 30 minutes
          5. Add parsley flakes (optional--I usually skip this)
            Step 3

**I never follow this to a "t"--in fact I always use a bag that contains 2 cups worth of cheese and I usually use a whole bag of hashbrowns that's just over 3 cups. It's good to let everything just overflow with this recipe. Oh and it's a-okay if the hashbrowns aren't frozen. I've used them completely thawed out before and it's worked just as well! When everything's done it'll look like the finished product below. This recipe can be tweaked and you may add vegetables to this dish to follow a more traditional shepherd's pie recipe, but if you fix it like this then I highly recommend adding something green to the side like green beans, broccoli, etc. Enjoy!

Step 4: The End :-)

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Shopping Cart Cover & Crib Skirt

Shopping Cart Cover
I meant to blog about this several months ago, but simply forgot. This past fall, while nesting didn't exactly kick-in until a few days before Caleb was born, I did get into a super crafty mood with sewing. Most of the bedding and nursery items I saw on the Internet and in stores were extremely expensive. Who has hundreds of dollars to spend money on something your kid won't even care about?! So on the weekends, when I didn't have class and when mom didn't work, we'd get together and spend hours figuring out how to make all this cute baby stuff.

Crib Skirt
We made a shopping cart cover (featured to the left) and believe it or not, we took it to Food Lion, only to discover that it did not fit their shopping carts!!! But we've decided to keep it just in case it should fit other carts, or if I actually get in the mood to somehow fix it. I have seen several other shopping cart covers at Once Upon a Child for cheap so we may just buy one there instead.

To the right, is the crib skirt my mother and I made. The pattern we used was a bit girly, so we decided to use rick-rack that matched the fabric, however, we learned that we didn't need so much fabric after all since we were only using one color. And below is a picture of the crib skirt on Caleb's crib in his nursery, underneath one of the crib sheets we made during this time as well.

Crib Skirt on Caleb's Crib
It's been a while since we've made anything else. What with the weeks impending Caleb's arrival, I lost the motivation to sew anything else. However, now that I'm on maternity leave, I recently found some material I bought a few summers ago when I was in the mood to make blankets for some of my friends that I knew were having babies. So hopefully I'll be sewing those together soon and posting about them, too! 


Mr. Proffitt's Meatloaf

When I was in the 9th grade I had Ms. Stone as my Geometry teacher. I also had Mr. Proffitt for English 9 Honors. These were two of my favorite teachers and what's really neat is that they were dating during my high school years. It was my 11th grade year that Mr. Proffitt proposed and they were married during the summer. I was privileged to be one of the few students invited to their beautiful wedding.

Later, when I was in college, I came back to BHS (neither Mr. or Mrs. Proffitt were teaching there anymore) but I completed some of my practicum hours there with another one of my favorite teacher's Mrs. Holland, whom kept in touch with the Proffitt's. When I graduated college in December 2008, that spring I was filling out applications and sending my resume to any county that had a potential social studies position available. I was just recently engaged when Mr. Proffitt (who then became an assistant principal and was no longer a teacher) called me to say that there was a position available at the middle school where he was working. It so kind and generous of him to remember me and that I needed a job. However, after much prayer, the Lord told me not to take the job. That it wasn't the one for me. Instead, I took a job with Charles City--one I detested, but needed for much growth!!!

After two years at CCHS, I was called about a job back at my alma mater. And this time, Mr. Proffitt would be working there as an AP. I have enjoyed working with him these past two years. He's still as quirky and wired as ever! When Adam and I were married Mrs. Proffitt came to my bridal shower and gave us this recipe. It's taken me over three years, but I finally fixed it and it's absolutely delicious! Check it out:
Meat loaf before

Ingredients
  • 1 lb ground beef
  • 1 egg
  • 1/2 cup bread crumbs
  • 2 Tbsp. grated onion
  • 1/4 tsp season salt
  • 1 Tbsp Worcestershire Sauce
  • 1/2 cup ketchup 
Directions
  •  Combine all ingredients in a bowl, spray bottom of a loaf pan, then put the meatloaf in the pan. It is to be baked at 350 degrees for 1 hour
Optional

  • Top loaf with 1 can of tomato soup before baking 
  • This dish is great with rice-a-roni, extra fine green beans and rolls
    Meat loaf after

Monday, March 11, 2013

Breastfeeding & Perseverance

You might be asking yourself, why the heck is she talking about this? I'm talking about breastfeeding because God has been faithful and good to us. If you didn't get the chance to read Caleb's birth story or the post about Brenner Children's Hospital then you can do that here and here. But if you don't feel like reading all that, let me just say that my son was taken via helicopter to the NICU at another hospital due to complications he experienced during birth. Because of that I was not given the chance to nurse him until two days after his birth. This made for a difficult experience.

Let me back up a little. Caleb was introduced to a bottle and to formula in the NICU because he needed food and at the time I wasn't physically able to be there with him. I am not upset that he was given formula, in fact, I'm very grateful that the nurses at BCH were able to feed his grumbling tummy. It was the worst feeling in the world when he was at Morehead with me and I watched his little mouth move and hear him cry because he was hungry and I wasn't allowed to nurse him. So, for those women in situations like mine, I'm glad formula is available to still provide the nutrients a baby needs. However, I was undeterred in my pursuit of being able to breastfeed my child. It's an experience I wanted to have, and it made me feel like it would help us to bond.

Courtesyof http://www.aabreastfeeding.com
So at BCH, the nurses created some privacy in the pod our son was in by setting up a curtain get-up around us and we used the Brest Friend pillow (see image to right) for support to hold him. Obviously I knew that my boob was to go in his mouth, but what I struggled with was getting him to latch. Latching, is when the baby "grasps" and actually gets a hold of the nipple, well enough to actually suck and get milk out of the breast. Because of nipple confusion he cried and cried and cried. He would not grasp my nipple the same as he did the nipple on the bottles the nurses gave him. I was offered a nipple shield (see image below) which helped, but without that, he would not latch. And even after we got home and continued to use the nipple shield, it would get wet from his saliva and the milk then it would come off. I started using a pump so that he would continue to get breast milk and it was neat being able to have other people feed him, but I still wanted that experience of nursing my son.
Medela Nipple Shield

Medela Soft Shells
With the encouragement of my husband and I mother I tried to nurse Caleb again. However, it was heartbreaking hearing my son cry out of his frustration and watch him struggle to latch. I too began to cry and felt frustrated and defeated. I didn't know what I was doing wrong. After talking with some friends who were determined to help me, I contacted a midwife in Roanoke. That was the best decision ever! She basically explained that my son had a posterior tongue tie (also confirmed by his pediatrician) and that it was causing his tongue not to reach out as far which made it difficult for him to latch. The second strike against was that she also explained that I had flat nipples. Whoa, say what?!?! I had no idea!!! She encouraged that I use soft shells (see image above right) to help ease the pain of the nipples toughening up and to help with my nipple issue. During our visit with her, she showed me a few techniques that could help Caleb to latch and some things we could do to help with his tongue tie. With her advice and tips, Caleb was finally able to latch, and he has been doing so ever since February 6th! Caleb now loves the booby and he doesn't struggle at all to latch anymore! It was a tough six weeks, and goodness knows I felt chained to that pump, but God through his love and kindness granted me a desire that I longed for and I owe him all the glory! Breastfeeding is as amazing as I thought it would be and I love knowing I can provide for my son, all on my own. I was able to persevere and I encourage other women out there to not give up! I felt embarrassed and allowed my pride to prevent me from seeking help, but learn from me and don't let that be you!

Friday, March 1, 2013

Happy 2 Months, Caleb!


 Caleb,

What a privilege it's been to watch you grow and start truly coming to life this past month! Your father and I have loved every minute of seeing your little personality starting to come out. It's hard to believe how fast another month has gone by, and this month you experienced a lot of firsts (see picture below)! We were thrilled to get out and about with you as the month of January kept us indoors. I'm not sure if we intended to keep you inside for six weeks like some suggest, but you didn't seem to mind spending day-in and day-out with your mama and daddy.  And boy did we get you out!

We had some company the second weekend of February (2/8)--we hosted a Pampered Chef party and later that night your Great Aunt Mary and her sons Grayson and John Wilson stayed the night with us. Your Aunt Mary is a superhero! She helped us with breastfeeding and gave us some insights into making it easier. She also managed to take care of you in the middle of the night and still get up early the next morning to fix breakfast and buy us some much needed items like baby wipes, soap, laundry detergent for you. What a joy and blessing she was to have around, we can't wait to see her again and for you to meet Caitlin!

Your first official outing was to Roanoke, but your biggest and first real trip was to your PawPaw and GramMarty's in Mobjack. Within a matter of minutes of getting there Great Granny and Great Grandpa stopped in to meet you. We stayed indoors much of the weekend since it was too cold to really take you out in your stroller, but we did take you out to eat with us for the first time with our good friends, your "Uncle" Marcus and "Aunt" Gina and their little boy (who we hope will be your best buddy) William. We also had breakfast with you Great Aunt Kim and Great Uncle Dru as well as with my cousins Ashley, Allison, and their families (your second cousins: Logan, Parker, and Madeline). You were pretty zonked for most of that visit since the car ride there was an hour to and from Yorktown. We made a quick pit-stop at Chick-Fil-A to meet Ethan & Ashlee, then we jetted out of there for the Leverett family get together. Though not everyone could make it, you met: Kelly, Gavin, Mallory, Peyton, Great Aunt Cindy, Great Uncle Dennis & Great Aunt Joanie.

The next day we took you to church for the very first time! There you met a lot of great and wonderful Christian people, who all enjoyed meeting you. You stayed in the service with us until you wet your diaper then the waterworks were on! However, April kept you in the nursery so I could sit and enjoy the sermon. It was like music to our ears to hear Van preach again! That day they had a special guest, Beky (a missionary to Togo whom you met in January) who spoke to the church and they hosted a luncheon immediately afterwards for her. You got passed around all over the place while we ate. When we finished lunch we drove up to Richmond to spend time with the Davis family. There you met Great Grandma, Great Aunt Kathy, and Great Uncle Maurice, Luke's friend Scott, and some of Adam's friends: Kyle & Fio (who recently got engaged) and Katy. We hung out at Uncle Luke's house while he, PawPaw, your dad, and Luke's tenant Logan put up the rock wall Uncle Luke has been dying to put up. We believe when you're old enough you'll probably climb that thing all the way to the top! Your dad got a call that he would actually have off the next day so we drove back to Mobjack that night and hung out a little more with your grandparents before jetting off to see "Uncle" Marcus and William again and then we headed home! We, and you, were completely exhausted and it felt great to be back in our own home again!

Some things we've learned this month include:
  • How to distinguish the different cries you have (mainly between fussing and when something truly is wrong)
  • You love getting your diaper and clothes changed 
  • You love to coo (we figured that's your way of "talking" at the moment)
  • You are always uncertain of taking a bath at first, but then you warm up to it
  • When you're awake and in someone's arms you constantly like to look around to see what is going on---we've bumped heads on many occasions
Unfortunately, you did get "cradle cap" this month. It's basically really dry skin that apparently lots of babies get. It doesn't seem to bother you, but it is a pain seeing it all over your head.When we visited GramMarty & PawPaw though it started going away, wahoo! Your doctor's visit for this month went really well. We found out you're in the 11% for head circumference, 26% for weight, and 92% for height. So you're definitely long and lean--in fact it's difficult finding pants that fit you, we're hoping that changes soon! Don't forget to check out the collages keeping track of your stats, milestones, and fun facts for this month. We love you and can't wait to see how much you grow and change next month!

Love,
Mom & Dad


Monday, February 11, 2013

Brenner Children's Hospital


At Morehead, under the oxygen hood.
Immediately after Caleb was born, okay not immediately, but 18 hours after Caleb was born, he was transferred via helicopter to from Morehead Memorial Hospital in Eden, NC to Wake Forest University Baptist Hospital, and the building/wing he was specifically taken to was Brenner Children's Hospital.

Dr. Salvador (the pediatrician on call that observed Caleb throughout the day of the 27th at Morehead) was afraid Caleb was having neonatal seizures, apnea, and respiratory distress; and since Morehead wasn't equipped to handle such a situation, Caleb, according to her medical expertise, needed to be transferred. Adam and I had no idea that we should have possibly chosen a hospital that would be equipped in such a manner. We were at a loss for words. As soon as she left the room we balled our eyes out. No parent wants to hear that their child's condition/situation had worsened. When we somewhat pulled ourselves together we called our parents and siblings and urged them to come to the hospital quickly since we weren't sure when the ambulance was to arrive.
Here are the EMT nurses getting Caleb situated

Hours later, Caleb was picked up via helicopter instead. It was horrible sitting there watching the EMT nurses get everything situated to have him in the helicopter. And what was worse was the fact that neither Adam or myself (I wasn't discharged until two days later) were allowed to ride with him. Talk about your stomach dropping. It was such a disappoint that one of us couldn't be there with him. Since we knew that might be the case, Adam and I decided earlier in the day that since I wasn't able to go that he and his family would make the drive to be with Caleb. He was picked up around 7:30pm and made it to Brenner Children's Hospital in no time, whereas it took Adam and his family an hour to get there.

Caleb's humble abode at BCH.
Once they arrived, Caleb was taken immediately into the NICU. The picture to the right was his home for the next four days. The nurses were so sweet to personalize each baby's area; it proved how much they really do care about each individual patient!

Before Caleb even reached what would be his humble abode,  his heart rate and oxygen levels stabilized during mid-flight. Praise God! So when he did get to BCH and to "Pod D" the nurses began an IV on him, gave him a pacifier (which he absolutely adored, especially since Morehead didn't allow me to breastfeed him and all he had to "eat" was what they gave him through his IV), and wrapped all nice and cozy like a little burrito. When Adam and his family arrived they ushered Adam in to see him and that's when we found out about RMHC which you can read about here, but since they got their so late he and my mother-in-law stayed overnight in a parent's room while my father-in-law and brother-in-law stayed at Adam's aunt's house in Greensboro.

Adam "Daddy" holding Caleb for the first time.
The next day, Adam was able to hold and feed Caleb. This was the picture (featured to the left) that was sent to me while I was still at Morehead Memorial. It was so surreal and disheartening to be reminded that I was miles away while my husband was holding our son. Please don't misunderstand, I am not jealous/envious that my husband held our son first, but it hurt that I wasn't there experiencing that moment with him. Adam was anxious and excited about holding Caleb, and the nurses made sure that he felt at ease while doing so. In his own words, "They were reassuring and helpful." They explained everything to him and kept him in the loop. 

Marie "Mama" holding Caleb for the first time
.
I finally arrived at BCH on December 29th, just two days after he was born and almost two days after he had been transferred. I felt like a little kid at Christmas. My best friend Hazel drove me to the hospital and when she dropped me off at the front, my husband was there anxiously waiting for me with a wheelchair (I still couldn't quite get around yet on my own). Once I was situated, he wheeled me around and got us to the sixth floor. I'll never forget how he beamed with pride at the nurses and staff while telling them that I was his wife and I was finally here! He rolled me through after washing my hands and I got to see my sweet boy after what felt like an eternity. Here's the picture of me holding him for the first time. How incredible and joyous it was being able to hold my son, it was one of the best feelings I've ever experienced! God was so good to not keep me from holding him any longer, because goodness knows my heart couldn't have taken it!

Our little baby burrito :-)
Though I was only there for two days, the nursing staff at BCH was phenomenal! They treated us with compassion, worked together as a team, promoted and encouraged parents to be part of taking care of the baby process. For example: I wasn't given the chance to breastfeed Caleb at Morehead and the nurses at BCH had this curtain-on-wheels get-up that basically sectioned off our area so that we were given privacy and I could try to feed him! They offered me tips and did their best to help him latch and when he struggled they found a nipple shield which helped him do so. It was the best feeling in the world when he finally latched, but that's a story for another post. I was just in awe (and still am) at the generosity of the nursing staff at BCH---they treated me and my family the way we expected and wanted to be treated, like we mattered, and we did! Their benevolence extended into every area of service, and we could not be more grateful! The doctors/fellows were great to include us in their rounds as well. We were able to talk with them directly, hear their thoughts, and ask any questions we had. Though we did not spend as much time with them as we did the nurses, they never rushed us as if they could only allot a specific amount of time to us and that was extremely important to me.

Finally on our way home!
Thanks BCH for the great care!
God blessed our experience at BCH so much. Not only were the nurses friendly and extended themselves to make us comfortable, but they also kept us informed as to every little detail about what they were doing, how they were going to do it, at the time they were going to perform it, etc. What Morehead lacked in communication, BCH certainly made up for! For anyone who finds themselves in a situation like we did, it is our hope and prayer that they too  will not have to worry about whom is with their child, but instead can focus on the progress of their child. Looking back, Adam and I both said that though we wish we could have changed our circumstances as to why we were there, it was nice to have some guidance and aide in learning how to truly take care of a newborn before we actually got home. It certainly made us feel more comfortable and ready when we did.


Friday, February 8, 2013

Ronald McDonald House

On the evening Caleb was transported to Brenner Children's Hospital, Adam and his family (and myself though I wasn't there yet) were worried about trying to find a place to stay and how affordable it would be. Would we have to spend $$$ to stay the night? Thankfully, and praise God for looking out of us, the nurses in the NICU told Adam and our family about the Ronald McDonald House across the street from the hospital. They offered a  room with  a queen size bed and a set of bunk beds as well as a pull out cot and a bathroom. Plus, the house comes with a well stocked kitchen which included plenty of meals and lots of cozy, comfortable seating to hang out. It became our home away from home. Check out the pictures below.
Source: http://picklesandcheeseblog.blogspot.com/2010/09/ronald-macdonald-house-in-winstonsalem.html

Best of all, they asked for a $10 donation for each night you stay. That was LOADS cheaper than any hotel we could have stayed in for the four nights we were there! Not only did they offer us a warm place to stay, but the house was still decorated for Christmas so it made the atmosphere that much more inviting. But that's not all! Not only was the RMH available to us but there was also a Ronald McDonald Family Room available on the sixth floor at the hospital to visitors, parents, and siblings of children that are patients in the NICU/PICU. This room offered food, drink, a place to relax, and use the Internet, all with only being a few steps away from our little one.


Our first family photo (outside a hospital)
at the Ronald McDonald House
Adam and I are so thankful for what the Ronald McDonald House Charities provided us with---a worry free experience while we were with our little one. The foundation is able to support itself from "individuals, organizations, and other corporate donors."  Though Adam and I had each heard of the RMHC (thanks to McDonald's) we were both naive and unaware of the good it truly did until we needed them. It is our goal and hope to take some of our tithes and give them to the RMHC. We want other families to be able to focus on their children and not have to worry where they may stay the night or get their next meal. The RMHC took care of us when we found ourselves in need. We hope to be a blessing to it and other families as well. Be sure to check out their website for more information by clicking this link: Ronald McDonald House Charities.

Friday, February 1, 2013

Happy 1 Month, Caleb!

Caleb, 

I can't believe a month has passed already! Our journey from birth to home was a rough one. You can read about that here. We're so thankful for all that God has done in your life and in ours. First you made your grand appearance at Morehead Memorial Hospital, but due to a complicated delivery were transferred to Brenner's Children's Hospital which is part of Wake Forest University Baptist in North Carolina by helicopter! I can't believe you got to have your first helicopter ride already, dad was jealous, but not for the reason of your transference. You stayed four days at Brenner's and were discharged to go home on December 31, 2012. You made it home just in time to ring in the New Year. And ring it in you did, with lots of crying and adjusting to life at home.

That first week home was a bit rough on us all. I experienced the typical baby blues, but it only lasted a week thank goodness! What was really tough was that Oma wasn't able to stay with us like we'd hoped because she got bronchitis. Instead, GramMarty stayed with us taking care of some household chores like washing dishes, keeping up with the laundry, fixing dinner, and taking care of you so we could get some rest. Auntie Hazel also came down that week and boy was she a big help!!! She came in and took care of getting all the Christmas decorations down (almost) single-handedly, got the house sparkly clean -- I mean cleaned everything to a "T," and even took on some of the night shifts of feeding and changing you so we could get some extra sleep. Your Papa & Uncle Nate came over a few nights to visit as well. Once Oma was better she did her share of seeing you and your Pawpaw stayed until he had to go back to work and returned as soon as he could to see you and take GramMarty home. It did us good to see so many people and to have so much help because by that Friday (January 4th) Dad had to return to work. It was a bit scary being home alone, just the three of us. We weren't sure we'd be able to do the job, but God provided us the skills necessary to be your parents and we've LOVED it!

We went to the doctor three times this first month. You had your first visit on January 3rd second on January 10th and both with Dr. Self at Martinsville Pediatrics. Your third visit was with the NP on January 22nd (we had you checked out because I thought you had thrush but you didn't). At that first appointment you were 8lbs 12oz, 9lbs 5oz by the second, and 9lbs 12oz by the third! It'll be  interesting to see how much you gain by next month! We call you our little piglet for a reason. ;-)
Be sure to check out both the banner pictures which include some fun facts, stats, and milestones from this month!


Some things that you'll probably want to know when you're older is "Was it tough taking care of you?" And the answer is: yes and no! You're an excellent baby, you're not colicky which is great, and we're following the "on-demand"  schedule which means we take care of you, when you show signs that you're hungry, sleepy, want to play, etc. although you've pretty much set your own schedule (e.g., you wake up every night around 4-5am). You're not fussy and you're pretty relaxed no matter what's going on. Plus, you didn't pee on us, which was awesome, although you did get your Oma pretty good the first time you met her! You sleep through practically anything thanks to all the noises that you heard at Brenner's Children's Hospital when you were in their nursery. The only thing you seem to struggle with is burping--you hate that and always cry when it comes time to do so (especially since we burp you after every ounce to two ounces). You also struggle with latching on for breastfeeding--you prefer the bottle for sure! You hated your first bath and cried all the way through it, but after that first one you realized it's not so bad after all, especially since we're there with you! All in all it's been a good month, we're looking forward to more sleep in the next and of course making more memories! We love you and we thank God for Him allowing us to be your parents!

Love,
-Mom & Dad

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Caleb's Birth Story

  **Disclaimer: this is a really long story with lots of details!

Christmas Day
(a few hours before heading to the hospital)
When my husband and I discovered we were pregnant we were ecstatic! We knew almost immediately that we wanted to be under the care of Women's Health Center which delivers at Morehead Memorial Hospital in Eden, NC; which at the time, both came highly recommended. However, after experiencing what we have, you will find that we will not be recommending either facility.







My husband and mother were my "coaches."  (Side note: my  husband and I were told that at around 6 months we should contact the coordinator of the birthing classes at MMH. We did just that and never heard a thing from her for months. Finally about a few weeks before we were due she called to say she had some cancellations. We were on the road to celebrate Thanksgiving with the Davises and I'm sorry, my name isn't Jennifer Bazis--so we skipped on the Lamaze classes, but I don't think we were missing out on much.)We were admitted to the hospital at 4:30pm on Christmas Day (12/25/12) with Dr. William McLeod and then later his colleague, Dr. Nigel Buist. After being admitted to the Birthing Center and filling out typical paperwork, Dr. McLeod inserted the Foley balloon. It is basically a rubber catheter...well never mind, it's not all that interesting and a bit difficult to explain.
Prior to this I was 2cm dilated and after this (it fell out around 11pm), I was told by the nurse I was dilated to 3cm. After eating dinner provided by the hospital I was told I would not be allowed to eat anything after midnight to ensure I had an empty stomach in case if a C-section needed to be performed. Also that evening, I was given Ambien (the sleeping pill) to ensure I would get adequate sleep which the charge nurse, Linda, highly recommended. I have never taken any sleep aids nor did I think it necessary, however, trusting the nursing staff, I took this pill, expecting to get a full night’s rest. Unfortunately, I did not sleep; instead I was up every 45-60 minutes and experienced hallucinations. I finally got up at 3:30am during which time I began contracting on my own. The contractions felt like minor cramps that went all the way around my belly. At that point they weren't painful--oh how quickly that changed! 

Getting ready for the induction!
At 4:00am, Linda came in to wake me up to shower and by 4:30am I was given an IV (can we just say she sucked putting that sucker in?! My bestest Hazel said after it was taken out that it looked like they raped my hand--it looked awful, blue, yellow, and purple all over--in fact the nurse at Brenner's asked if I'd been in a fight?!)  After the IV was started I was also given an antibiotic for testing Group B positive to prevent Caleb from getting a respiratory infection. Shortly thereafter Pitocin was administered. At approximately 6:00am the official inducing of labor began when my water was broken by Dr. Buist. Honestly, it was the strangest feeling to have my water broken. For one thing I was surprised that it actually hurt and I've heard from others that if it breaks on its own it doesn't hurt; however, I did experience that gush that most women talk about. It felt like I peed myself! What was weird is how the fluid continued to come out throughout the day. I thought once it was broken it would all gush out at once and be over with but boy was I wrong. We were told there was some meconium in the amniotic fluid, but it was nothing to worry about.

Over the next few hours the contractions came in stronger and more steadily. (I will say that contractions on my own were not nearly as painful as contractions with Pitocin!!! I'm interested to see how it compares with other children we have). Each time I had a contraction I would either hold my husband's or mother's hand, and during that time I would squeeze it and would recite a Bible verse or sing the chorus to a song in my head. Doing those things helped me get through. If only it had continued that way...

Just before 9:00am I had one contraction so painful and so severe that I went completely flush and threw up. It was at that time that I requested an epidural and by 9:30am it was inserted and administered to me. By the way, if you ever get an epidural you have to get it in plenty of time for it to be inserted. I had no idea that if you wait as long as 8cm then it's usually too late. And since no one failed to share this information with me, they continued administering Pitocin so I continued to have very painful contractions while having to sit up hunched over holding onto a nurse while the anesthesiologist numbed my back and inserted the epidural. Unfortunately, as sweet as the anesthesiologist was he didn't numb the area enough so he had to stick me two more times before I couldn't feel the epidural.  I had no idea however, that once the epidural was inserted that they inserted a catheter inside your lady parts to drain the pee. I wasn't allowed to get up for the rest of the day and move around. The only thing I was allowed to do was rotate the side of the body I would lay on, can we say bedridden?!  Next time, I want to be able to move freely and walk if I want to, not be confined to a bed the whole time! And, as a reaction to the epidural, I still felt extremely nauseous and was given Zofran to cope with the nausea. I also suffered a horrible migraine that lasted until Caleb was born. The only comfort I received from that was wearing a cold compress with the lights off in the room. Poor mom and Adam; thankfully they were such good sports about the whole thing--I even made them eat in the waiting room because the smell of food made me ravenous.

By the way, the nurse I had from 7am-7pm during the day of the 26th, Stacee, was phenomenal—she answered all our questions, was compassionate, helped whenever needed, and kept a positive attitude, indicating she enjoyed her job and the work she did. I'm making a point to include her in this because no other nurses were quite as wonderful as her. Anywho, by 6:00 that night Dr. Buist came in to check my cervix (I had progressed to 5cm) and that he would be back around 8:00pm to check it again and at that point if I hadn’t progressed he would take the baby. We understood this to mean he would perform a C-section, something we were ok with at that point and indicated as such to him.
However, eight o’clock came and went and we heard no news from the doctor. (We didn’t actually see him again until it came time to push which was five and a half hours later—1:30am). By this time, the nursing staff changed shifts and Sandra was with us. Unlike Stacee, Sandra offered no real information as to what was going on and why the doctor wasn’t there when he said he would be. We felt as if we were out of the loop because the only statements we received from her were when we'd question her was, "Oh we'll find out soon" or "He'll be here soon.” During this time, too, my mother and husband would go to the nurses’ station whenever a buzzer/button would go off because it would continue to beep/buzz for several minutes without any nurses coming to check on me or to turn the annoying sound off. When my mother and husband went to the nurses’ station there would be several nurses sitting around, some of which were on their cell phones. When asked for help some would state, “Oh we’ll go get so and so,” as if they couldn’t be bothered to help and we were left waiting even longer. Unfortunately, this poor treatment by some (not all) of the nurses continued well after the birth of our son.  

I finally dilated to 10cm around 12:30a.m. (Let me state at this point that the Pitocin administered previously was around 20mL all day and that when the doctor did not come in 8:00, it was gradually upped to 26mL which greatly increased the contractions and dilated me much faster than what had occurred all day—if that was all it took to get me to 10cm, then why was I left to labor all day when an increase in dosage could have allowed us to meet our son sooner? Sorry, just had to say that--I'm off my soapbox now.) When I was finally dilated to 10cm I felt a sense of relief because I knew we would be pushing and meeting our son soon. However, we had to wait another hour before the doctor actually showed up. So when I started pushing I was completely exhausted thanks to no rest from the Ambien, the lack of relief of experiencing a headache all day, the fatigue of labor itself, and lack of food!

When the doctor finally arrived it was 1:30am. I gave it my all and pushed for 50 minutes, but I was truly in no shape for pushing considering how exhausted I was. Can we just say that pushing is really hard work?! Because of the epidural, although I was alert, it was very difficult to know where to push--I mean DUH I knew where to push but it was difficult not knowing if we were making progress because I couldn't feel anything. It didn't help that our doctor and the nurses didn't communicate with us the whole time. Literally, they were quiet. I asked one time if he was close and the doctor said, "He could be here in five minutes, but you've got to take this seriously." What in the world? Because of course I was sitting back laughing and having a good time not taking any of this seriously. Jerk.

Finally,  our son Caleb was  born at 2:17am with the assisted use of a vacuum extractor. Let me pause the story to say that I felt a huge pressure in my rear end and knew that was Caleb's head so I knew it was close to seeing him. However, again due to the lack of communication and my exhaustion, I threw my head back to catch my breath and that's when Caleb was born and placed on my chest for all of 5 seconds. I was in such an altered state that I had no idea he'd been placed on my chest because I was still breathing so hard and when I looked down and saw him I barely got to place a hand on him and then he was whisked away. What a huge let down after months and months of anticipation only for that moment to be stolen from me! Apparently (and we found this out much later), it was never communicated to us that our son was born face up or that the doctor used the vacuum on him four times! Thus creating a multitude of complications I'll get to in a minute. Also during delivery, an episiotomy was performed to the second degree--again the doc didn't communicate and give us a play by play of his decision to do this or when! What's worse is that before the doctor stitched me up, he left me in the stirrups to go to another patient and then he returned to stitch me up. What was unbelievable was that when he stitched me up I could feel it! I told him that, too (twice in fact) and he still continued to stitch me up without numbing the area further. When my husband and I have children in the future, we will be requesting that the next doctor be more thorough and walk us through the birthing process verbally since Dr. Buist clearly lacked communication. My husband later commented that that was the most somber room, as if the doctor and nurses knew something was wrong but did not relate that to us. We found out later why it was so somber...

During this time, when I was being stitched up, our son had been taken to the nursery. I'm not sure if this is standard protocol, but immediately after an hour had passed after Caleb's birth we were told to gather all of our belongings. The nurse massaged my stomach (WORST feeling ever after giving birth to a baby) and then removed the catheter (remember, the one that relieved my bladder?!) and made me get up and go to the bathroom--of course because the first thing I want to do is get up and walk around rather than rest--idiot. [I'd love for any of you ladies to comment so I can know if this was normal.] I felt like jello getting up that first time. So we were taken to another "recovery" room where we waited for what seemed like hours to be able to see our precious son again.

As a result of his traumatic birth, Caleb had complications breathing on his own and was taken away for further examination. The pediatrician on call, Dr. Law came by to say that they were trying to start an IV, that he received an x-ray to make sure he didn't have pneumonia because he took in meconium  fluid in his lungs, and that he had a heart murmur because of this. Unfortunately, my husband and I weren't able to see him for five hours after he was born and when we were finally able to do so, we were told we still weren't allowed to hold him or feed him because his oxygen levels were not stable. Seeing my son for the first time after all we had experienced was such a joyous and sad moment. He was sleeping peacefully, but looked awful. The first thing we noticed was that he had a huge half moon laceration to his head where the extractor was used--the nursing staff did not
clean him after birth so there was still blood and vernix caseosa. His head looked normal from the from but in the back it was elongated, instead of it being cone-shaped like most vaginally born babies, his was jiggly. It made me uncomfortable and hurt for him just seeing him like that. Thankfully God made babies to be resilient and that little fellow sure was! Adam and I both had tears welling up in our eyes at the sight of him. We stayed with him a little while but because we were exhausted we went back to the "recovery" room to get some sleep, that is until another knock came at the door...

The pediatrician that came on call after Dr. Law was Dr. Salvador. She was very sweet and genuinely concerned for our son unlike the doctor that delivered him. She spoke to us about having Caleb transferred to Brenner's Children’s Hospital (part of Wake Forest University Baptist Hospital in NC) because she was afraid he was having seizures/convulsions, possible brain damage/swelling from the vacuum, and his oxygen levels still weren't stabilizing. When she left the room I fell into Adam's arms balling my eyes out. We were definitely shocked beyond belief and couldn't believe any of this was actually happening. I started sobbing so hard that it became difficult to breathe. Once I caught my breath we called my parents and then Adam's to tell them they needed to get back to the hospital fast because we were told that our son would be picked up by ambulance; we later found out that all of Brenner’s ambulances had been discharged and they were sending a helicopter! This was the best and worst day of my life. I hope no one ever has to experience that kind of pain for your child.

Ready for the helicopter ride!
The nurses that rode on the helicopter that came to take Caleb were phenomenal. They let us stay with our son while they were transferring all the information needed as well as tubing, medicine, etc. No one was allowed to ride with Caleb in the helicopter so Adam and his parents and his brother Joel drove down to Brenner's to be with Caleb there. Upon my husband’s arrival at Brenner’s the nurses looking after Caleb approached him stating that they were astounded that such an incident took place and indicated that such an occurrence should and could have been prevented—that the use of a vacuum would have been appropriate had it not been administered so many times. Thankfully, the staff at Brenner's took the BEST care of our son and praise the Lord while in mid-flight, his oxygen levels stabilized! He remained at Brenner's until December 31 and was released just in time for the start of New Year!

Unfortunately, I was unable to go to Brenner's with Caleb. I stayed at MMH another 48 hours after Caleb's birth. The nurses barely checked on me and when they did, they mainly checked my temperature and blood pressure. My stitches were only checked twice (once immediately after the birth and then again two days later). I only had my stomach massaged twice as well to get the extra blood out of my uterus. The worst of it was that I lost a lot of blood, approximately three units. On Friday morning my hemoglobin was checked and it was a 7.2 and by Friday afternoon it was checked again. Two nurses came in with discharge papers and said I had made "great improvements" stating that my hemoglobin rose from 7.2 to 7.3. Seriously, a tenth of a point?! That's no improvement at all you idiots! I couldn't stand on my own and I couldn't walk more than two or three steps before getting out of breath as well as feeling like the room was constantly spinning. My mother had to help me every step of the way--no nurses offered to help, not even ONCE to do what my mother was doing. I needed a transfusion and the doctor on call, Dr. Kent Hjerpe and these nurses were ready to boot me out the door! Thank goodness my mother, who is a lab manager at an endocrinologist’s office, knew I needed the transfusion (I looked like I was on death's door--seriously, I am already pale and at this point looked even more so--my lips had lost all color and were white, no lie!). I actually had to ask for my own transfusion since the nurses were pretty adamant about insisting that I was perfectly able to go home. In fact, one even mentioned that women are sent home with  a 6 hemoglobin which is outrageous! That transfusion did wonders for me- I could actually get up out of bed on my own and was able to take a shower for the first time in days--what I don't understand is that they were refusing to give it to me when they had already had it cross matched in the lab -- meaning they already had a blood type that suited mine for a transfusion (and by the way a charge like that cost hundreds of dollars)!

When I thanked the doctor the next morning before being discharged he scolded me saying #1) It would normally take 6 months to build up the blood supply I lost but with the transfusion it should only take 3months—if he knew that then why did he refuse to give me the transfusion to begin with, didn’t he realize I would be taking care of a newborn?! and #2) The amount of blood lost was my fault because in his opinion I had not taken my prenatal vitamins. What this douche of a doctor didn't know was that the prenatal vitamins made me throw up and I took them for about six months and then when school started I began taking them at night to prevent throwing up. This was difficult for me to remember since I had established a routine of taking them with my breakfast. I felt humiliated and offended that a doctor who should have known how fragile a condition I was mentally, physically, and emotionally in had the nerve to say such harsh and heartless words.

What is also bothersome is that no nurse had communicated to me after delivering my son that I would have to ask/request pain medication. I did so unknowingly two or three times, but I did not know I was to ask every time. Because I requested the transfusion, I stayed Friday night (12/28/12) it was at that time that the evening nurse, Jill who had a terrible catty attitude, came in and my stitches were checked for a second time. It was during this time that she told me I had a hemorrhoid and she would bring me Tucks pads and Dermoplast. Neither of these products were offered to me prior to her checking me, which makes me think that had I been discharged earlier in the day and not received the transfusion, I would have suffered further rather than receive relief from the pain I’d been experiencing.

Thankfully, my best friend Lindsey Hazelwood stayed Friday night to help me out and give my mom some relief so she could get some rest (especially since my mother's diabetic and had already experienced low sugars due to the lack of sleep). Hazel got all of my belongings together and when Dr. Hjerpe came in she consoled me stating that, "For centuries women have had babies without prenatal vitamins and even today women in third world countries didn't receive the kind of care you did while pregnant. Don't let this idiot get you down!" I'm so thankful to have a friend that supported me as much as she. She gathered all my stuff together and drove me to my house to pick up a few things (since we weren't sure of how long we'd be at Brenner's) and then drove me to Winston-Salem, NC.When I finally got to be with my husband and Caleb again, all was right with the world. In fact, at Brenner's I was able to hold my son and attempt breastfeeding (but that story is for another post). The nurses there were so supportive and courteous.


I couldn’t have asked for a better pregnancy. I didn’t become high risk, have high blood pressure, or have gestational diabetes. I experienced no swelling and I enjoyed being pregnant. While in utero, our son grew as expected and was healthy every step of the way. We looked forward to everything labor and delivery offered and we couldn’t wait to hold our bundle of joy. Instead, the experience we had hoped for became a dashed dream. Dr. Buist used poor judgment. Dilating from a 5 to 5.5cm is hardly any progress. All of this has led to unnecessary worry, unnecessary accrued medical expenses, and heartache for what our son experienced. My husband and I feel that our son’s life was jeopardized unnecessarily due to the mishandling of his delivery. I should not have had to labor for 20+ hours. It should have been communicated to us in advance that our son was face up and that because I experienced the exhaustion I did that I was truly in no shape to be able to push. Otherwise, the vacuum would never have been used and our son wouldn’t have received the lacerations and supposed seizures he was thought to be experiencing. Our son should have been delivered by C-section; and/or the Pitocin administered should have been increased sooner and the doctor should have been available sooner after discovering we were dilated to 10cm rather than having to wait an additional hour like we did.

Because of the traumatic delivery our son could have died. We believe it is only by the grace of God and the power of prayer (we had people all over the east coast praying for us!) that our son did not suffer permanent damage after the trauma of the condition of his delivery and that he is still alive and doing well. I am sharing our story to make others aware and to prevent them from receiving the same kind of poor care and treatment we received from Women's Health Center and Morehead Memorial Hospital. As a woman, you have a right to create a birth plan for yourself stating you and your spouse's expectations. Adam and I will most certainly be doing that for Baby Davis #2.


Update (2/15/12)
**Upon receiving our medical records we also discovered that another patient’s chart (drugs administered during labor—i.e., Nicotine Patch, Nubain, Milk of Magnesia) were added to my record when I did not take them. You will obviously agree that this raised a red flag since I am not a smoker and I did not need my health insurance to potentially back out of covering me for misrepresentation. When we went to Medical Records to address this concern we asked for an addendum stating that that page is invalid and did not apply to us. No addendum was given as we were told that since my insurance company wasn’t charged for those drugs it therefore did not affect us and remains on my chart to this day—we were NOT given an explanation as to how these charges were found in my chart and why an addendum retracting those drugs was not needed.

Thursday, January 17, 2013

May I Proudly Present To You...

Our beautiful son, Caleb - born on December 27, 2012 @ 2:17 am, 8lbs 5oz, and 22 inches long! Here are just a few images from his time at Morehead Hospital & Brenner's Children's Hospital. The birth story is very long and I will be posting it soon. In the meantime, just know that we had a complicated delivery, but praise God we're all safe and doing well!