Can we have an honest conversation about my desires?! I want to be a stay at home wife/mother. I don't want to stay at home forever, just for the next few years while Adam and I are family planning and I can help bring up/rear my children rather than another adult do so. I completely understand that financially it is impossible for many women, including myself, to stay at home, but if I could I would do it in an instant. I now know why some women LOVE it and why they choose to lead that kind of lifestyle (granted that they and their husbands are in agreement first). But in the meantime, I don't get the luxury of staying at home. I do indeed have to return to work and let me just say that it sucks!
And in the next breath let me also say, "I love my job!" I really do! I enjoy the fact that no two days are a like, that I never have a typical 9-5 day where I'm stuck behind a computer screen, and that I have weekends, summers, and holidays off. I am enthralled and engulfed with the belief that I can be a positive light to teenagers and that I can make a difference in their lives; but I am so afraid that going back to work will mean that I'm going to miss out on so much that my little boy is doing. I don't want others to witness all of Caleb's momentous and joyous accomplishments just because I have to work. It is ripping my heart in half realizing that tomorrow I'll have to kiss my son and walk out the door. I know God has a season and a plan for everything, my heart and mind just can't seem to grasp the concept that during this season I'm not meant to be a stay at home wife/mother.
Let me be honest, I'm as nervous as a first year teacher wondering how my kids at school are going to be. I'm also skeptical whether I'll be able to make through the day without crying puddles and I'm less than thrilled that I'll now have to pump rather than be at Caleb's disposal whenever he needs to eat. The only thing that will get me through this is 1) my encouraging husband, 2) my faithful and willing-to-babysit-for-free family, and 3) that there's only seven weeks left until summer vacation! I know I can survive seven weeks, but I wish I didn't have to endure this at all. I know this time is precious and it's a gift, I hope I can continue to see it that way come tomorrow. Until then, please say a prayer for me and my family!
Showing posts with label trust. Show all posts
Showing posts with label trust. Show all posts
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Tick Tock
Have you ever noticed that when you're waiting for God's direction, that the seconds feel like hours, and the minutes like days? I'm in that period of waiting where I'm so anxious to know where the Lord will be sending Adam and I that it is almost unbearable. We've prayed in earnest about an opportunity, that doors would be opened. But we only want His will. As amazing as this job would be, we know that if the Lord's hand is not in it, then we don't want it. There may be some tears on our my end, but I know God's plan is always better. So whether you stumbled upon this blog by accident or you're a continual reader, please just pray over our situation, and especially that my heart would NOT be anxious!
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Mr. Opportunity, Welcome Back!
Remember when I blogged about Mr. Opportunity here and here? Well if you remember, Adam and I have been praying for God to show His will to us. We know that change is in the air, we both feel it's coming and are trusting God. We have also shared these opportunities and bits of information with others, especially our parents, siblings, and close friends who have all said that they are praying for us as well! Well I now have an update.
The position for the upcoming history teacher at Mathews High School (Adam's hometown) was not approved in the budget and this evening I received an email from my old high school history teacher basically stating that another Bassett High School (from my hometown) alum has a master's degree in administration and will more than likely be offered a contract. As far as I know this is only contingent upon the remainder of this school year, not the next, but you know how these things usually turn out...I'm still hopeful that perhaps this is not the case and that it's only for the time being because goodness knows I would love to be near my family again!
And even though we'd both like the chance to be near my family, we're still interested in the possibility of the Air Force, we've simply hit some bumps in trying to get in touch with the Air Force recruiters. I'm not taking that as a sign we're not to talk to them, but to remain persistent and persevere. Please note however, that for someone who enjoys having a "plan" this is driving me nuts, I would love nothing more than to know where we're headed but as a friend of mine recently said, "Where's the fun in that?! "Somehow I feel that the subliminal message God is trying to send my way is to be patient. Oh if that were easier done than said! Anywho, as always please continue to pray for us and God's will as we know that above all else He is #1 and is to be glorified always!
The position for the upcoming history teacher at Mathews High School (Adam's hometown) was not approved in the budget and this evening I received an email from my old high school history teacher basically stating that another Bassett High School (from my hometown) alum has a master's degree in administration and will more than likely be offered a contract. As far as I know this is only contingent upon the remainder of this school year, not the next, but you know how these things usually turn out...I'm still hopeful that perhaps this is not the case and that it's only for the time being because goodness knows I would love to be near my family again!
And even though we'd both like the chance to be near my family, we're still interested in the possibility of the Air Force, we've simply hit some bumps in trying to get in touch with the Air Force recruiters. I'm not taking that as a sign we're not to talk to them, but to remain persistent and persevere. Please note however, that for someone who enjoys having a "plan" this is driving me nuts, I would love nothing more than to know where we're headed but as a friend of mine recently said, "Where's the fun in that?! "Somehow I feel that the subliminal message God is trying to send my way is to be patient. Oh if that were easier done than said! Anywho, as always please continue to pray for us and God's will as we know that above all else He is #1 and is to be glorified always!
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Rejuvenation? Yes, please!
This week has drained me of any energy, which I truly need! With the changing of the time on Sunday, my body has had a hard time transitioning. On top of that, our car died Monday, and Adam was stranded in West Point. We were supposed to meet the Air Force recruiter that night but Adam got off work too late so the recruiter said to come back the next evening. So, we decided to make some last minute plans and meet with a friend of ours, Marcus. Along the way we decided to meet up instead of driving two cars out to his house. Adam parked at Nick's and I met him there. Well needless to say when I finally got my stuff outta my car and hopped into his, the thing wouldn't crank! We spent the rest of Monday night trying to fix it, but left discouraged.
Last night, Adam and his dad (who drove all the way out there as well) were able to take off the starter and sure enough when they got to an Advanced Auto to test it, it was dead. So my husband bought another one, drives all the way back to West Point, gets the "new" starter on there only to find that it too doesn't work. He was able to take it back, but they said they'd have to order a new one. So now we're patiently waiting for the new starter to come in. So minus the fact that my body is not well rested, and now that our finances and time aren't either, I'm just ready for some rest, relaxation, and rejuvenation.....is it the weekend here yet? Hope your week (and Wednesday) are better than mine!
Last night, Adam and his dad (who drove all the way out there as well) were able to take off the starter and sure enough when they got to an Advanced Auto to test it, it was dead. So my husband bought another one, drives all the way back to West Point, gets the "new" starter on there only to find that it too doesn't work. He was able to take it back, but they said they'd have to order a new one. So now we're patiently waiting for the new starter to come in. So minus the fact that my body is not well rested, and now that our finances and time aren't either, I'm just ready for some rest, relaxation, and rejuvenation.....is it the weekend here yet? Hope your week (and Wednesday) are better than mine!
Monday, December 28, 2009
Catch Up Time!
Wow! It has been incredibly too long since I last posted! I failed to post much due to the stress and overtake of my life because of my job: school! I got a job teaching World History II, Government, and Sociology at Charles City High School in Charles City, VA. It's located 30 minutes east of Richmond and 30 minutes west of Williamsburg. The school is extremely small; there are roughly 50 students that make up our senior class, altogether there are 298 students in the entire school! Because this is my first year teaching it has been more than stressful with the addition of having planned a wedding, too! However I don't think, well I know I could not have survived the rest of this year without my husband! (Catch up time on marriage is coming up shortly)!
Teaching has taught me so much about myself as a person, and it has truly pushed me out of my comfort zone. I remember thinking last summer that I would love for God to use me, and well He's definitely brought me to an area that needs His light. I am by no means perfect in attempting and facing this challenge, but it has been quite the challenge indeed and hasn't been the most pleasant experience. My students have toughened me up; I am no longer "fearful" of putting students in their place and writing referrals. But I have also learned to think WAY outside of the box so that I can bring new strategies to the table of differentiation. I so much desire to be a teacher that at the end of the year has students discussing how much they learned and enjoyed my class, but only time will tell. And thank the Lord above we only have 40 days left of school! I am overjoyed at the thought of having uninterrupted time to myself this summer without the worrying of creating lesson plans, developing and creating activities, etc.
But before I continue daydreaming of summer, as a little reminder or notification for those who do not know, SOLs are coming up in the next month so needless to say I'm a little anxious. I want all of my students to do well and pass 1) for themselves so they do not have to repeat this course and can earn an advanced diploma and 2) so it'll be a good reflection on me and all the hard work I've done this year! So please pray that on May 18th my students will not be intimidated and will achieve exceedingly good scores or simply put: will pass! What a joy it is to share my concerns! Until we catch up again, be blessed and rely on the Lord!
Teaching has taught me so much about myself as a person, and it has truly pushed me out of my comfort zone. I remember thinking last summer that I would love for God to use me, and well He's definitely brought me to an area that needs His light. I am by no means perfect in attempting and facing this challenge, but it has been quite the challenge indeed and hasn't been the most pleasant experience. My students have toughened me up; I am no longer "fearful" of putting students in their place and writing referrals. But I have also learned to think WAY outside of the box so that I can bring new strategies to the table of differentiation. I so much desire to be a teacher that at the end of the year has students discussing how much they learned and enjoyed my class, but only time will tell. And thank the Lord above we only have 40 days left of school! I am overjoyed at the thought of having uninterrupted time to myself this summer without the worrying of creating lesson plans, developing and creating activities, etc.
But before I continue daydreaming of summer, as a little reminder or notification for those who do not know, SOLs are coming up in the next month so needless to say I'm a little anxious. I want all of my students to do well and pass 1) for themselves so they do not have to repeat this course and can earn an advanced diploma and 2) so it'll be a good reflection on me and all the hard work I've done this year! So please pray that on May 18th my students will not be intimidated and will achieve exceedingly good scores or simply put: will pass! What a joy it is to share my concerns! Until we catch up again, be blessed and rely on the Lord!
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